SIX

-6-
“The Living’s Easy”

Winter turned to spring and spring into summer. I had spent the semester pretty much drinking every night. This had not been depression drinking, for the most part, but more of a never ending party. That’s the way it seemed, anyhow. That house thee three of us lived in held a party every weekend. Whether it was a theme party (hello Toga’s!) or just a few of us passing around a bottle of rum and telling stories, we always had fun. It certainly helped that Christopher was 21, so we had a seemingly endless supply of beer. Sure, some nights it was a tallboy of Ice House, but no one seemed to care. To me, this is what college life was all about.

My grades for the spring semester did suffer, albeit only slightly. I was still going to class on a semi-regular basis and could bullshit my way through most of the tests. In classes that didn’t rely on essays for the tests, I would simply do all of my homework so I didn’t have to study as hard for the tests. There was too much fun to be had and I didn’t want to miss any of it. Eric and Christopher felt the same way; though Eric’s grades suffered the most. It didn’t bother him, though. Outwardly, nothing seemed to ever bother him.

As for Laura, she and Christopher (I use his full name because he hated the shortened version of Chris) got back together shortly after Eric and I had moved in. There relationship was volatile and they would have drag down, bare knuckle type arguments at least once a month. He would bitch about her for a week or so, get really stoned, and then end up getting back with her. She was very controlling of him. She was only seventeen (I was close on my original guess) and was, in general, a conniving bitch. I had no real idea of why they stayed together, but I guess love is funny in that way.

Laura stayed over five nights a week or so. It never really bothered me as much as it did for Eric. Those two would butt heads constantly and I think that caused some of the tension between her and Christopher. Both Eric and Laura both felt compelled to always say what was on their mind, so that certainly didn’t help. I never really had a problem with her. She was a smart girl and she didn’t buy into the usual teenage bullshit. We had some good talks in those earlier times and I probably would have asked her out, had she not been my roommate’s girlfriend. Either way, years later I would find out she had a thing for me. I was told by Christopher that she would have fucked me had it not been for Chris. Oh well, just another girl lost, right?

Our parties started during the semester and spilled over into the summer. I would meet five to ten new people every weekend, many of whom became regulars at our house throughout the years. That asshole Brad even managed to make an appearance from time to time. Of course, Christa was in tow, losing more and more of her sweetness every day. The man used people and wasn’t afraid to brag about it. I had over heard him talking one time about how he couldn’t afford rent, so he was having Christa pay it for him. She, too, had moved out of the dorms (at the end of the spring semester, though) and she had moved in with him. She had even taken a job as a waitress to help pay for his stuff. This man was twenty-five and was playing her for everything she was worth.

I had spoken to her in passing, but never anything about him. It was the usual “How’s your family?” and “How’s school?” rhetoric that people rarely even care about. I’m no different, in those regards, at least with her. Part of me still cared for her, yes, and I wanted to see her happy, just not happy with him. Just thinking about Brad now makes me angry and how I would change things. This time, I would hit him square in the job.

I didn’t have time for Christa anyhow. I was having too much fun. Our house was on the corner of the street, nestled amongst a group of Oak trees. The trees towered high into the night sky and provided us with all the privacy we ever needed. We’d even go as far as to hold campfires in our backyard. One Saturday afternoon in late April, Eric, Christopher, and I dug a deep hole in the yard and surrounded it with giant rocks. The first time we used, we bought at least ten bags of charcoal and dumped them into the pit. Eric doused the thing with lighter fluid and lit the son of a bitch on fire. Thus, our bonfire was born and we thought we were the coolest people on the planet.

Except for me, that is. I never felt that in respect to the ladies. Despite being a gracious host and purveyor of good times, it hadn’t yet translated into a journey to Eden. I had spoken and flirted with many girls during these parties. A few of them I’d even kissed and taken back to my room. There, dry humping would commence, maybe even a blowjob, but something always stopped me from doing more. Sometimes it would be an ill-times phone call, or an unexpected visitor. Sometimes, it would be early in the party and someone would inevitably crash through my lockless door. Or maybe sometimes your friends would stand outside your bedroom window and watch while they laughed uncontrollably. Either way, the girl would leave or just want to cuddle at that point, leaving me unfilled.

Eric would go onto explain to me that I needed a closer. In baseball terms, that’s the man that finishes a close game. He said that’s what I needed for my bedroom antics. “You have good enough stuff to start off, but you need someone to finish it up.”

“How so,” I asked as I played along with his game.

“Well, you get them all going with your boyish charm and when you feel that you’re about to lose them, just point to your right arm, and I’ll come in to get the save.”

“So, I’ll put in all of the work and then you get all of the rewards?”

“Exactly.”

“I’ll look into that.”

We both had a small chuckle, but I really did need to learn how to close. I was beginning to think I’d die a virgin.

The summer culminated in a giant beach party blowout. Our original plan was to load in a dump truck full of sand and have it spread out all over the yard, but that plan was hatched over a 30 pack of Keystone light and it never came to fruition. Instead, we got some Tiki torches and some leis and we were all set. We even lit the fire long before dusk and had even bought a keg. This was going to be the party to end all parties.

Eric tapped the keg around eight and we waited. Laura had joined us, so it was the four of us sitting around the fire in beach chairs. We waited. And we waited some more. Sitting there getting drunk, it felt like hours had already passed. The night was humid and I suppose the fire didn’t help in getting rid of my sweat drenched shirt. I unbuttoned a few buttons on my floral shirt and took another swig of beer. The four of us rarely had moments of silence, but tonight was different. I suppose we were all just antsy and wanted to get the party started.

Soon enough, at close to ten, the people started to filter in. And then roam in. And eventually, people were coming in as if all of them had piled into a clown car to get to this party. There were big people, small people, girls in skirts, and guys without shirts. I’d say over a hundred drunk college and high school kids made their way though the house that night. At a rough estimate, I believe I didn’t even know half of them. Of that half, I hardly had a chance to meet most of them.

One person that I did get to meet was a nice looking eighteen year old girl named Heather. She was short, but very cute with tiny dimples that formed perfectly when she smiled. She was going to be a freshman that upcoming year. We chatted for awhile; the beer was clearly working on me and the wine coolers on her. I was talking with Heather in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, when I saw Christa. I looked at Christa in her Hula skirt and swimsuit bra. She was all smiles and joy. I don’t know if it was my own jealousy, the need to make her jealous, or the alcohol, but I stopped Heather from talking for a second. I looked her in the eyes and kissed her. To my surprise, Heather kissed me back; even throwing in her tongue for good measure. The kiss lasted for a good ten seconds before I pulled away. I looked her in the eyes and slipped my hand into hers. I didn’t even bother to look for Christa’s response.

Heather did not leave my side for the entire night, even at about two in the morning when the cops arrived. We finally found out that we had neighbors. Of course, we were so loud that people from three blocks away could have heard us. As the underage kids rounded themselves up in the backyard and Christopher lured the ADULTS inside, Eric was struck by lightning. Seeing it as a moment of distraction or an idea (I’m still not sure), Eric pointed to the gate on the side of the house. “You want to run,” I whispered to him.

Eric shook his head. “Just watch.”

Like that, he was off. He swung the gate open and dove behind some bushes. I pulled myself up to the top of the gate and peeked my eyes over the pointed edges. There was a cop on the front step, but he had not seen me. Or Eric for that matter, who despite being out of shape, crawled quite nimbly towards the cop’s car. I still had no idea if Eric was going to run or not, but I soon had my answer. Eric stood up. I heard the unzipping of pants and shortly thereafter, a stream of piss on the car. “Woo Hoo,” Eric exclaimed loudly.

The cop turned around and did not even ask Eric to stop. The man sprinted to the car and slammed Eric against the car. The impact splashed urine all over the both of them. The pissed on cop slapped handcuffs on Eric and happily read him his rights.

“What’s going on,” asked the meek voice behind me. “I’m tired.”

It was Heather. I’d nearly forgotten about her. I lowered myself from the gate and looked her in the eyes. “Sweetie, once the cops are gone, we are going to my room. We’ll lie down together, but I’ve got to do something first. Okay?”

Drunk enough off of her four wine coolers, Heather clumsily nodded her head yes. We waited for the cops to leave and I immediately ran to my room. I grabbed the five hundred in cash I’d hidden in my room, put Heather to sleep, and left the house. On the same night, I had to bail out my best friend from jail and when I returned home, I would fall asleep next to Heather, my first college girlfriend and my first exploration of paradise.